


I trusted  you

by rayrod67



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-08-31 08:19:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8571247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayrod67/pseuds/rayrod67
Summary: A quick response to 11/15/2016 episode. Includes spoilers from Week of 11/29/2016. Robert and Aaron have a talk.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry wrote it fast and is not really edited.

Robert sat at table in the pub nursing his pint. He had sat there for the last hour trying to think of a way out of the mess he made. He knew he had gotten in too deep. He never should of kissed Rebecca back giving her the idea that they could end up in bed together. He had just been so sure and arrogant of being one up on her and the Whites that he chose to ignore Aaron's advice to keep away from her. Now here he is sitting alone in the pub waiting to see who will cause his life to come crashing down. Diane or Rebecca?

“Want me to freshen that up for you luv?” Chas asked, a worried frown on her face.

“No. I'm alright,” Robert could see that Chas had something on her mind. Sighing he said, “Just say it, Chas.”

Taking a seat Chas reached out and grabbed Robert's hand. “Tell me what it means to you?” she asked.

Robert looked down at his hands watching as his future mother in law ( he hoped) touched his ring. “It means everything. Love, acceptance, home, family …....Aaron.” 

Nodding her head she smiled squeezed his hand once and let go. “Good remember that. Aaron loves you. That doesn't come easy for him.” Robert smiled knowing how true that was. “But when he does fall in love he falls completely. He gives himself over completely.” Chas kept eye contact with Robert. Wanting to make sure he was understanding the point she was trying to make. “He will sacrifice his happiness for others. Because he thinks his isn't worth as much.”

“I know Chas.” 

“Than you know what you are doing right now is hurting him?” Robert looked up at the coldness in the older woman's voice. “By the look on your face and the fact that you have been huddled in the corner for the last hour tells me its about to get worse.” she said matter of fact.

“I never want to hurt him. He is first in everything for me. But...” Robert stopped not sure how to tell his lover's mother that he needed to hurt her son in order for his plan to work. It was a terrible and shitty thing to do but it was the only way. He needed for Rebecca to think he was caught. 

“Yeah. It's always those buts.” Chas shook her head with disappointment. “It took a lot for me to accept you into Aaron's life. You more than proved yourself to me and everyone. I know you love my son. I just hope you love him enough.” Chas stood up taking the warm pint with her. “One last thing. You break his heart. I'll break you.” with that said she walked back to the bar.

Robert stayed in the pub for another hour before decided to call it a night. He had not heard from Aaron yet so he took that as a good sign. Walking into the back of the pub he made his way into the living quarters. Switching on the light he decided to make some tea while he waited for his fiance to come home.

His phone went off as he set the kettle on the stove. Looking down he felt his heart stop and he read the text.

“Had the loveliest talk with your fiance. He was quite shocked by what I had to say. He is most eager to talk with you. Ta!”

So it was Rebecca who shattered his life. Surprise it was bound to be a member of the White family.

*************  
Aaron sat in his car going over everything Rebecca had told him. At first he had laughed her off calling her a deranged stalker. How many times do you have to hear no before you get the hint. But then she said described how Robert kissed her as they reminisced about their love affair. Robert telling her now was not the time. Insinuating that there would be a time they could get together in the future. Aaron called here a liar and just what kind of sick game was she playing. 

“Ask Diane. She was there. She can tell you what happened.”

So Aaron did. He tracked down Diane and asked here what she heard and saw. Aaron wished he hadn't because it just made everything worse.

Robert didn't want Andy's freedom. Well not just his freedom he wanted money and Home Farm. A big FU to both Chrissie and Lawrence.

“I'l lie, I'll cheat. I'll do whatever it takes.”

Roberts own words coming back to condemn him. Aaron thought Robert knew how important trust was to him. How hard it was for Aaron to trust and rely on someone. Hell it took him a long time to trust his own mum. He trusted Paddy before he trusted her. 

Aaron couldn't understand. How could Robert say all those things to him. That he was enough. No one comes close. He was sure that Aaron was the one. Then in one instant destroy everything.

How was Aaron suppose to believe anything he says now?

Twisting the ring on his finger Aaron took a deep steadying breath. It was time to go in and confront his fiance. 

*************** 

Robert was sat on the couch looking scared and worried. Good he should be, Aaron thought. Tossing his keys on table he sat down on the chair opposite the couch. He didn't think he would be comfortable sitting where Robert and Rebecca kissed.

“Something you want to tell me?” Aaron cursed at how his voice sounded. Thick with emotion and unshed tears.

“Think Rebecca already took care of that.” Robert answered back.

“Yeah, cheers for that.” Aaron was thankful that the sadness was giving way to anger. “Nothing like hearing about your fiance snogging sessions with his ex lover from his ex-lover.”

“It wasn't a session it was one kiss.”

“Oh my apologies. That's so much better. We don't need to talk.” Aaron let his anger fill him. It gave him courage and centered him.  
“Aaron please. Just let me explain.” Robert slid forward on the couch grabbing Aaron's hand.

“I already know the explanation. Rebecca was kind enough to inform me of your deal.”Aaron couldn't believe that Robert was willing to help Lachlan escape. “If I hadn't called would you have done it?”

“I don't know.” Robert truly didn't know. He was desperate to protect his life with Aaron. Rebecca had threatened to tell Aaron everything. He couldn't let that happened. In the end what did it matter she told him anyway.

“See the right answer to that was no. Hell no would have been acceptable too.” Aaron pulled away from Robert and stood. “How would you be able to face Jacob or David? Knowing that there was no justice for Alicia. Lachlan is nothing but waste. He's a rapist and you were willing to help him escape. Just to keep your little secret.” Aaron shook his head in disgust and walked away. “I don't know you anymore.” he said making his way upstairs. He needed to put space between them.

“Aaron wait!” Robert stood quickly and followed his young lover upstairs to their bedroom.

“Leave me alone Robert.” Aaron tried to shut the bedroom door but Robert wouldn't let him. 

“No we need to clear the air.” Robert pushed his way into the room trapping his lover against the door. “We can't leave it like this.” he begged reaching out to place his hands on Aaron's shoulders. He stopped when he saw his young lover flinch. “How can I fix this?”

“I don't know.” Aaron whispered sadly. He was just as lost. “You should have been the one to tell me. Not her. I trusted you to tell me the truth and you didn't.”

“I'm sorry!” Robert all but yelled. He was so fucking sorry.

“I trusted you Robert.” Aaron took a deep breath. He was determined not to cry. He was not going to give Robert anymore of his tears. If it was going to end than so be it. He would walk away from this with his head held up and his heart shattered but whole.

“I know you did. I'm sorry I hurt you. I know how hard it is for you to trust someone.” Robert couldn't think of anything else to say. What could he say he had broken his promises to the one man who made him believe in himself.

“I don't think you really do know how hard it is for me. Trusting someone is the only thing that is mine to give. The one thing that I can control.” Aaron's voice grew soft as he continued. “Everything can be taken from you. Forced from you no matter how hard you fight. You can't control your body. Someone bigger and stronger can take it as they please.” 

“Don't!” Robert pleaded as tears filled his eyes. He couldn't take Aaron talking like that. “Aaron.” 

Aaron moved away from Robert and walked slowly over to the bed. He sat down on the edge hands gripping the duvet. Raising his eyes he looked right at Robert,“You don't choose who you fall in love with. You can't control that.” he continued. “You can fight it but in the end its there ingrained in your soul.” rubbing at his cheeks and nose he wiped the tears away. “But trust. That is mine to give. Mine to keep. You can't force trust. It is earned and given freely.”

Robert could feel his heart speed up and his body begin to tremble in fear. He was going to lose the best thing in his life. “Aaron you can still trust me.” he pleaded.

“No. I can't.” the words were clear and final filled with heartbreak and acceptance.

“I can't lose you.” Robert got down on his knees clasping Aaron's hands in his.

“You lost me the moment you decided not to tell me about the kiss.” Aaron pulled his hands away sliding back on the bed to put space between them. “You made a choice Robert. You chose Andy and Rebecca over me. Over us.”

“I did this for us. The money..”

“We don't need it! I certainly don't want it!” Aaron felt his anger burn within him. “I have enough money. I make enough with the scrapyard. I don't need anymore.”

“You can never have enough money Aaron.” 

Aaron gave a soft chuckle. “Spoken like a true White.”

Robert felt the sting of the words. He wasn't like them. The money would be for them. Him and Aaron. Couldn't his lover see that? “With the extra money we could live anyway we like.”

“We can do that without the money. I like my life. I am finally in a place where I felt happy, free and safe. It wasn't money that made me feel that way. It was you and Liv and Mum. That was enough for me.” Aaron let himself fall back on the bed. “But it's not for you is it?”

“I like the finer things in life.” Robert couldn't see that as a bad thing. But Aaron did. “I like knowing that I can give you anything you desire.”

“I only desire you.” Aaron knew they had hit a crossroad. Absently he began to twist his ring on his finger.

Robert seeing this cried, “No. Don't do this. Please Aaron.”

“I'll hold on to the ring.” Aaron sat up and slipped the ring from his finger as he spoke. “But right now I don't think I can wear it. Because it has no meaning at the moment.”

At those words Robert physically felt his heart break. He rubbed his hand along his chest trying in vain to soothe the burning pain. “I'll make it mean something again.” He grabbed Aaron by the legs and pulled him down the bed toward him. 

“Robert I don..” Aaron started but was interrupted when Robert clasped his face. 

Pressing his forehead against Aaron's he said, “I promise you. I will. Because I am not letting you go.” tilting Aaron's head back he whispered in his ear. “You are meant to be mine and I will not walk away from you.” 

Aaron tried to move away but Robert held him fast. “Do you hear me. You are mine and I'm yours. I will fight for you.” he growled out then kissed him to seal the vow.

The End


	2. Back at the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both men do some planning and thinking.Picks up right where the first chapter ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was only suppose to be a one shot. I guess the boys still wanted to tell more of this story.

Part 2

Chapter Title: Back at the Beginning

 

Robert pulled back from the kiss but held on tightly to Aaron desperate for any kind of connection. Anything to keep Aaron tethered to him. "The ring means everything." he growled into his lover's neck. This couldn't be the end. He wouldn't allow it. "I'll make it happen. I promise." Each word seared into the skin of his young lover.

"Robert." Aaron pushed at the older man’s shoulders. He needed to put space between them. He needed to think and he couldn't do that with Robert holding him and kissing him. Robert was not one to give up when he wanted something or someone. Aaron had experienced that first hand. He was too confused right now with anger, disappointment and betrayal battling for dominance. He needed to think about what Roberts’s action meant to their relationship. "You should go. I'm sure Vic won't mind you sleeping at hers for a bit."

Robert kept Aaron from breaking free from his hold. He needed one last taste of his lover before he was sent on his way. Robert felt the soft bristle of Aaron's beard against the palm of his hands and he leaned in to press his lips against the trembling mouth of his fiancée’s.

Robert's vow to get Aaron to trust him again breathed deeply into the kiss. With one last press Robert pulled out of the kiss and stared into Aaron's beautiful blue eyes. “I love you.” he said then stood up and made his way to the door. Stopping with his hand on the door knob he turned and took one last long look. With a sad smile he nodded once to Aaron then slipped out the door.

Aaron sat stunned on the bed with the ring held tightly in his hand. He shuddered as the click of the door sounded so loud and final in the quiet of the room. “You promised me that no came close.” he told the empty room.

 

Robert flinched as he heard the softly spoken words. “No one does. I'll make you believe me.” he promised. Slowly he made his way down the stairs to the living room. Walking inside he made his way over to the couch. Sitting down he ran a hand through his hair wondering how he had let it get this far.

The sight of Aaron slipping off the ring haunted Robert. He had worked so hard and come so far to get Aaron to trust him again. In one moment of weakness he blew it. “Why am so quick to make the wrong decision?” Good question, unfortunately Robert had no good answer.

The kiss with Rebecca was not about wanting or lusting for her. It sure as hell was not about any unresolved feelings of love for her either. He had simply lost himself in the memories and liquor. Not a good excuse but it was the truth. He didn't want Rebecca not like that. He needed her for his plan to work and he wanted to keep her on side. The kiss was a bit of a worm on the hook. To keep her interested and giving her hope that Robert would be willing to get back into bed with her. Not his proudest moment. But there it is.

Aaron should never had to hear that from her. Robert regretted that the most. That Aaron was hurt all because of him, again. Aaron whom trust is the most important thing in the world has lost all trust in him. How could he possibly get him to understand that it all meant nothing to him? It was a means to an end.

Aaron saw things in simple turns. Black and white with smattering of gray, right from wrong, good and bad. Robert saw different shades of gray, and white and all colors in between. Right and wrong had different levels. Aaron being hurt by Robert's actions was wrong. Rebecca being hurt by his actions was acceptable. Because she chose to help her rapist and attempted murdering nephew. Not because she cares about him. No, because she wants to hurt Chrissie and get in the good graces of her father. She is like the rest of the Whites, it’s about money and what position they hold in the family business.

Robert knew where Rebecca stood in his life. She was a past mistake a little distraction to combat the boredom. She was nothing then and she is nothing now. 

That's not really true now though is it? 

Because now she has aligned herself with Chrissie and Lawrence in a united White front.

“As if I would be intimidated by that. Their greed and hatred of each other will tear them down” Robert sneered with disgust. His plans of revenge to clear Andy have changed. He still plans to clear his brother’s name. Only now he wants revenge for himself and Aaron. For letting the Whites ruin a sacred part of his life.

Aaron was his safe place. There in his arms he was free to be himself. There was nothing duplicitous there only his love to be given and taken freely. Now it lay tattered on the floor in near ruins. There was still hope. There was always hope as long as there was still love. Robert knew that Aaron still loved him. That was never in doubt. No what his young lover doubted was his faith and trust in Robert to not destroy what they had in his need to avenge and clear his brother's name. Robert could apologize over and over again. But it meant nothing right now to Aaron. His faith shattered by Robert's failure to come clean about the kiss. Aaron should have heard it from Robert, in his own voice and words. Instead he heard it from the woman who he felt threatened by.

He was a fool.

All this time he had thought he was in control. He was the one pulling the strings and calling the shots. He wasn't. Aaron was right Rebecca couldn't be trusted. She had played the game better than him and Aaron was the one who got hurt.

Now here Robert was sitting in the dark room of his home alone. His lover upstairs in their bedroom heartbroken and trust shattered. Where does he go from here? How can he gain Aaron'strust again?

In his heart he knew it would be a fight. Aaron's insecurities would play a big part in this war. He was prepared to battle all of those insecurities and make Aaron see that he was the one. The only one. No one can or will ever come close.

Because he had no life without Aaron. Not one worth living anyhow. He had always played a part. One his father would approve. Never himself, never free and never happy. Where he had to play a game with Chrissie and Lawrence. Always pretending to be someone he wasn't or like everything they said and did. Protect and stand up for Lachlan when all he wanted was for that piece of trash to be taken out and dealt with.

Robert played with the ring upon his finger. Twisting it one way then the other. “His ring.” Robert whispered to the dark. “He kept his ring.”

“I'll hold on to the ring.” Aaron sat up and slipped the ring from his finger as he spoke. “But right now I don't think I can wear it. Because it has no meaning at the moment.”

Aaron took off the engagement ring but he did not return it. A small foundation of hope lay still intact. One that Robert will do his best to rebuild even stronger and larger than it was before. Aaron was worth it. Robert would give sweat, tears and blood to prove it to him.

He will never give up on Aaron. “We will be together.” Robert swore. He said he would rather have messed up with Aaron forever than a perfect life. He meant and soon Aaron would realize that too. Robert would make him see. 

“We will be married.” Robert had sat there long enough. He would go to Vic's and stay. 

For now. 

**************

Aaron sat on the edge of the bed for what felt like hours. A deep lonely longing filled him as he gazed at the closed door. Doubt began to play at his head. What if he overreacted? What if Robert decides he's too much trouble? What if Rebecca offers everything? What if he finds he never loved me? What if I can never trust him again?

What if?

Anxiety and panic began to settle uncomfortably in his body. All the what if's making his chest and head ache. Hands trembling and breaths coming in short rasp Aaron did his best to fight back to gain control over himself. He looked frantically around searching for anything to focus on. His head became foggy and he was dizzy. Eyes tracked all-round the room for anything to anchor him to here and now. That's when he felt the cold metal in his hand.

The ring.

The one he said had no meaning anymore suddenly gained meaning. It was solid proof of his and Robert's love.

A talisman. Of how perfect life can be. What he has to look forward to.

Solid proof that what started out as nothing but lust and a one off changed into this all-consuming fire of want, desire and love. As long as there was love they could rebuild trust. Aaron had to believe that because he could not see his life without Robert in it.

But how can you trust him? Should you trust him? He has hurt you so many times? Can you keep doing it and expect the answer to be different?

His subconscious would not quiet down. The questions all good and practical and worst of all asked in Paddy's voice.

Those were questions for another day. Right now he wanted to forget.

You should stay away from him mate. You know you should. Paddy would not be silenced.

Aaron stood and made his way over to his dresser. Opening the top drawer he pulled out a small blue box. Within in the box was a silver chain he had bought ages ago. Not sure why he kept it as he was not one for jewelry. Yet he did. Pulling it out of the box he unclasps the chain and slipped the ring on it. Clasping the chain closed he placed it around his neck tucking it in his shirt. There it would stay until Aaron trusted Robert again or they ended it permanently.

This was so much more than a kiss. Robert kissing Rebecca stung. But it was the lack of communication that hurt him the worst. The kiss hurt but he could get over it. What he had trouble with was Robert lying to him. If he couldn't trust Robert than whom could he trust? Robert swore that he was enough. That no one came close. Even though, apparently Rebecca came pretty close. He thought unkindly. Aaron would walk away from Robert before he could be made a fool of. No matter how much he loved him.

Though he was hurt a huge part of Aaron had faith that they could make it through this. Pushing his jealousy aside he did know deep down that the kiss meant nothing to Robert.  
However the fact that Robert hid it instead of talking to Aaron was the biggest issue at hand.  
A woman whom he shared a past with a woman who can give him things Aaron himself never can. “Rebecca.” Aaron feels his stomach turns at her name. Rebecca who is cut from the same cloth as her sister and just like Chrissie she has proven to be just as bitter and cold. Caring only about what she wants and needs.

Trust. Aaron needed to trust in order to feel safe to give freely to the other person.

He swore to his mum that Robert would not become his Carl. He meant it at the time. But the thought of being alone, of losing Robert.....he ached at just the idea of it.

But can you trust Robert not to do it again? His subconscious in Paddy's voice asked again. Aaron shook his head because right now he had no answer to this question.

Can you trust Robert? Paddy was on a roll. Aaron ran his hand along his chin scratching at his beard. He knew the answer and it hurt thinking it.

No he doesn't trust him. Not today; not tomorrow; not next week.

Do you want to trust Robert? This time the voice in his head was that of Chas. Biting his bottom lip he nodded his head. God yes!

So where did that leave them?

Back at the beginning.

Either way Aaron would not lock himself away and play the broken hearted lover. He was going down to the pub for some well-deserved pints. Maybe a chat with both Paddy and his mum.


End file.
